Number 12 :)

2010-12-14T16:30:00.000-08:00

As e sun rises, i was just about to hit e sack. Body clock's damn screwed. Just a short update here, gna update again once i've got e time to upload photos.

Anw ,I've an awesome 3D2N chalet w/ tekkos (Y)

P/s : School's gonna start, life gonna suck, books gonna stick onto me, stress gonna haunt me, fun gonna run away from me &im gonna get pulled towards pressure. Fml.

Its getting nearer and nearer.

2010-12-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

Life's great. (:
I miss e people in e last few photos, so happy bcuz im seeing damn in few more days ^^
Today i texted someone, i said im happy because im really happy. I've found e reasons in fact we dont actually need one. Sometimes we expected too much w.o realising certain can be as easy as ABC.

A thousand reasons to fret but not a single reasons needed to smile, its about how we faces life each day. I saw a girl in a Cedar P.e attire written : To give anythg less than your best is to sacrifice e gift.
Everyday is a gift, live like theres no tmrw people!!

Training changed from morning to noon again >:( which means its gonna takes up half of my day!!! I needa brush up my stamina, i cant run omgzzz. damn it! Anw, im happy bcuz more events are coming up next week but wait, oh fuckit school is.. STARTING . Major turnoff x100.

Okay bye peepo, im just here for a damn short update. Ciaos!

The great escape.

2010-12-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

Keep walking, dont hesitate, dont look back. Because once you accelerate, you tend to retreat more and more. You tend to drown yourself within e beautiful past and forgot the fact that its over.

Future is a mystery, have some faith in it and believe that it would be better.
Worry less, accept more.

Having friendly match tmrw, i've no idea how am i gonna play w/ this dry throat and never ending spinning head of mine but well, its much expected that i'll earn quite lot of scoldings and shoutings. Wish me luck!^^
Heading to tuition after training, tmrw gna be a hectic day! Gdnight earthlings!

Hang on, just endure, it'll be over, very soon.

2010-12-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

Have you ever has any day that you just dont feel like going anywhere, doing anything, speaking a single word? All you wna do is just sit down there & let your brain continue their chats. Or hiding under your blanket and dream because only in dreams, you cld have things going on e right track, you would not need to worry for this and that, you can be happy.

I do. I felt this way today.
Im turning already, hope training tmrw will not be too tough, i've not been exercising/running for weeks already excluding streetballing. Life's back to mundane mode zzz -.-

Im so into you eye candy!

2010-12-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

Im sick, damn sick >:(
But! Im stronggg kay so i went to balled today, omgzzz i cant imagine how isit gna be once i get back to school's trng im so gna get scoldings from coach, he sure spam scoldings @me!! Im so damn cui !!
*faint*
I FEEL LIKE I ONLY LEFT W/ A FEW DAYS OF HOLIDAYS BCUZ TRNG GNA START ON MONDAY AND IT SURE GNA BE DAMN STRESSSSS ! Guys please pray for me kay tyvm ^^

Hope i enjoy myself later on!

AND! WOAH, time fliesss AND ITS ALREADY DECEMBER!!! Hey to all who're taking Os nxt year, can you believe it? Arent we extremely happy and relax after EOY becuz we find that secondary 3 is a tough year for us? (To those who shares e same thinking as me) BUT KNOW WHAT? E worst x10 are coming up, lets buckup and fight till e end okehhh !! Its a game of discipline and endurance, put e past behind no matter how lousy/good your grades are, e real game has started, those are just practices and now its really time to get serious and super glue your butt to e chair, put on your thinking caps and...STUDY NOW A MTH BEFORE SCHL STARTS, TRY RE-CAP ALL !!! *faint*

REMEMBER IS WORTH IT BCUZ IS FOR SOMETHG YOU GNA HOLD ON FOR E REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! BUT, obviously as they always say its ORDINARY LEVEL right? So dont get too stressed bcuz when you're stressed up things wont get into your brain!! Then we've to sing JAY SEAN'S SONG ALR "DOWN" HAHA. Sorry abit lame but after saying so much these are actually a self-reminder for me. hehehe.Stupid IF im not malaysian, i wld have finish my Os by now @e age of 16 and enjoying my life, DAMN! Aiya but still its gna be over and according to those who've already went through this says time gna flies and e process gna goes off in fast-forward motion. HAHA hopefully kay hmm but i hope its in a fast-forward motion w/ a happy ending of a cert w/ 12pts thankyou veryvery much by then i'll thankgod/AMEN alr maybe i will happy till tear OR go crazy get 100bucks and treat all my loved ones eat. HEHEHE. ok i needa stop dreaming!

GDNIGHTY PRETTY/HANDSOME GIRLS/BOYS OUT THERE ;)

P/S : To everything in life, i've my principles to follow. That's me, like it or not your choice. We just gotta know whats e limit and which is e route we really wna take in life before ended up regretting what could have been done to salvage. Follow your heart, your mind and principles, have your own stand at least you're doing at your own will.

"We let go to know if something truly belong to us. As we let go, if it comes back it shows that it's meant to be but if it doesn't it's never meant to be."

Permanent reservations

2010-11-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Thankful ^^
Cant sleep so decided to come here and update a lil bit.

I cant wait for upcoming events, training gonna start nxt week. Honestly speaking im quite afraid of e tough trngs but well, whatever it comes im gna do it because its e last year already, we've to cherish and collect as many memories as possible yeah :D

Stuck @home today for whole day, feeling unwell w/ awful stomach, toilet become e thing i seen most today-.-' Didnt ate a single thing till night, met up w/ my listener, went to 7eleven and grab some tibits then sat down &chatted w/ her. i always love chatting w/ her is like putting down e stone in my heart(:

Coughing like mad now and having badbad sore-throat, but too bad hehe i still can make noise, i still have my voice. Hee. Okeh gdnight peepo!

P/s : Suddenly think of e cheer of mine "diam-la peien" cheer and i goes smiling infront of my comp. hehe. Miss so many awesome ppl! Memoriable day, 12th Nov, 19th Nov, 27th Nov.

Definitions of awesome.

2010-11-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

Oopsssss time flies and i locked my blog for 2mths plus already! Didnt have e time to update once exams finished as im bz enjoying my lifeee hehehe ;)

Weeehoo, so 2mths flies and many things changed ! Btw, i've a awesome NOV w/ tekkos <3 ! Chompchomp, frolick,stayover,camwhoringgg,prata hse,slacking arnd town and icekimoooo ~

niceyyy ^^

happy birthday 24/7 hungrykid cum big-eater! ;)

Supa love e stingray and sotongs! Not to forget e bigbigbig cup sugarcane! CHOMPCHOMP<3

miss seeing them, their laughters and stupid lame jokes.

Above pictures spells fun (Y)

Could we've more puhhleaseee? Hols are coming to an end, lets have more fun!! Sudden craving for steamboat! weeee^^

P.S : This bloody post cost 1hr just because of stupid blogger uploader not working well, bullshitzzz. Okeh gdnight peepo^^ I kept having diarrhoea, just ate med, hope it will be fine tmrw :'(

I'ld be empty w.o your presence

2010-09-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Beliefs.

2010-09-18T13:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just gotta have some confidence within ourself.
Nobody is born to be a genius , nothing ever comes easy. Success comes in only when one's is willing to put in e effort and hard work . There may be ppl who learns faster , vice-versa. But , if ones willing to learn its just like one's at e speed of a typical toyota/honda while one's at e speed of a ferrari but know what ? Eventually , both will reaches e end line. Slow doesnt mean failure , is just that the time taken is longer , being slow is not a deathe sentence . Its just that e amount of effort needed is many times more but so what ? What matters most is at e end of e day im e one benefiting , having sense of accomplishments .

So stop crying over spilt milk , crying over a damn sheet of result slip thats not gonna change , why not put in e hard work now , its never too late anyw. Im never a person who is organised but we can all LEARN to be one , self-discipline is e key of all. Is either now or never , come on do it man. Theres no more time to play , time to be sensible and stop disappointing those who cares . Hope e nxt time im here i could pin down my words in euphoria & with confidence to pass and not a guaranteed disappointment in failing. God bless me, gdnight (:

When there's a will there's a way.

Unspoken

2010-09-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

I dont need this space anymore , maybe i'll come back when i feel like.

Hey i realise people come & goes of our life , maybe the next time im back here again , i'll be writing another story . Talks are so damn cheap & the most stupid thing is to believe in it and reminisces these cheap shit-talks.

Hi , bye - Is just a cycle.

Cherish.

2010-09-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

I wrote a whole chunk of words , Ctrl A & pressed delete.

A broken family-
Someday when i earn big bucks , able to afford branded stuff & support myself , i know till then i still will never forget those i've been through. The hurt had been inflicted & is like a scar that im gonna bring with me for my whole life . Nobody ever lived a perfect life , i believe theres ppl even worst than me hence im gonna move on with smiles.

The saddest thing on earth is seeing how someone changes from start till end & then realise , " hey do i even know you ? " How much have we tried to understand the people around us ? How much have we done to cherish them before we start regretting that we could have done more , before we start having the question if we actually know the real them & before we start feeling disappointed .
- I didnt cherish enough .

Screw you Amaths!

2010-09-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hi , Amaths is driving me nuts .
School is depressing because im afraid i cant get my desired results. But know what? Im never gonna give up . (:

Hey can anyone on earth tell me whats wrong with ppl nowadays ?
Why people changes drastically as time passes ? I kept have to rant to my friends :
" Last time .... (how good and how good) then now leh ! (how bad &how bad) "
One of my friend said , time past everyone changes. But i wanna know so badly , why ?! Seriously dont understand whats on their mind. Does they know how much it hurts ? The feeling of disappointments , feeling of " again .." , tell me how could i ever start trusting again with such good exampls telling me not to. It sucks big time when i only can keep saying " last time " .

Fuck those shitasses with their rubbish. Talks are so cheap , cheap whores .
I hope time could reveal the answe to me , tyvm.
Some nights , quite often or rather almost every nights , you'll never fail to revolve in my mind.

My fear

2010-09-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

Its hard to trust whole-heartedly ever again.
Its hard to believe in happiness will remain when i've learnt that nothing actually lasts.

Because im sober now.

Distant.

2010-09-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Is like an invisible wall built in between.
Perhaps this is why humans are taught to learn 24alphabets , so as to understand its product.
Few of those alphabets made these -" not meant to be " .

I slammed the door shut , no one's gonna hear those cries nor those tears , I've shed.
Enclosing myself , in my own world. Sometimes , its not just about the difference in two words ;
Un-happy , happy.

Its all about you.

2010-09-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Theres a secret , i kept away from you ,
I'ld tell the whole world but not you , i lied, i made-up stories , i acted , just to make you believe my lies.

You doesn't know how hard isit for me to speak as if theres nothing at all. &For all i've done , i know & could see what's impossible , hence i put a stop in dreaming so as to not fall even harder. Though , deep within im torn apart , shattered.

2010-09-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea.
I won’t cry, I won’t cry, no I won’t shed a tear.
Just as long as you stand, stand by me.

-quote-book @tumblr

Silence kills us all.

2010-09-05T10:06:00.000-07:00

或许一开始如你所说，已是一个错误。

Im used to everything you gave me.

2010-08-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you cant make up your mind to make an inference , when theres no substantial proves to infer , its better to choose to walk away so that be it whatever the outcome is , at least deep down my heart it portraits a beautiful and perfect image.

We just have to stop dreaming , get over with " you're e one" wake up and be more realistic , then we'll be less prone to heartbreaks and most importantly to free yourself from hurts , never ever set any expectation because you'll end being torn into pieces. Its always sad that e one that build you up will also be e one that pulls you down , tore you into millions of shattered pieces.

Fix me , you'll have a hardtime because this aint the first .

Being a history student , every sources i've got cant stop me from presuming that those are e truths. I questioned myself what i did to deserve all these , shit all your talks and words of concern . Im just gonna keep moving on. You lied , is like taking a knife and stab it str8 into my heart , there isnt any difference & i feel so helpless towards all this shit. Darn everything. You and your f*ing plot.

You just have yet to know me deep enough

2010-08-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

I kept wondering , why does we have to study ? I guess its because we needa gain knowledge? But to me i definitely disagree that only when you study you can success. Success is never easy but it also doesnt mean that only those who studied will success. I find that the outside world is definitely more than that , everything is about how much you wanna learn , how much you're willing to put in the effort and all the experiences you gained. However cant deney the fact that studying is still needed to gain knowledge so that you wont be lagging behind once you stepped into this cruelty max society. But sometimes , we just have to learn to do things in a smart way , thou theres no shortcuts for success but its still all about the way you used to achieve it. I guess? Well these are just my opinions. Fyi , i hate school max. I just cant get my motivations , i want freedom , i dont want stress and i hate to worry " will i black out in the exam hall tmrw ? " this feeling sucks. Im afraid , im worried , im always being this way. Darn everything. Sigh. Still we just gotta keep going on.

P.S : I've an awesome and fun day with stackers , thanks for all the great laughters , entertainments, jokes & ridiculous teasing.HAHA. Thou i keep complain being bullied but i really did have alot of fun. Love you guys ^^ :)

Define whats worth fighting for when life gonna come to an end still ?

2010-08-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

Always belive that everything in life happens for a reason. We all know someday , we gonna leave .
Someday our story gonna stop playing , thats when life comes to an end and that day remain as a mystery.
Often we contradicts within ourselves , we couldnt make up our mind , we went reminiscing whats gone , we regret & we hope everything could rewind.

I dont feel the same , if one day im given a chance to rewind my time back , i never wanna change it becuz i love to see a tranquil flow of life . I miss those days when i can hold on tightly to my mum's hand , being a lil girl shorter than her , having smooth hair and wearing my favourite shoe with lights at the base of the shoes , catching powerpuff girls in the morning and playing with toys on my own. Because now im taller than my mum , i couldnt fit into that shoe anymore , my hair is in bad condition due to rebonding , so tired that i would rather sleep than catching powerpuff girls early in the morning and all the toys i used to played were being thrown away . What im facing ahead of me are terrains , they frightens me , they broke me into pieces , they drain me out & cause a fear within myself if i could make it or not. If i fall , it makes a hardtime for me to stand up on my own feet , its not about grazes and cuts but its about the broken heart . When i failed , it isnt like playing with my toys , i can control them and with everything , every scenes and ending at my finger tips . Its all about future.

Now all i want is to put myself into sleeps , my dreamland and travel back to those wonderful times when none would ever leave me and nothing goes apart. When theres no heartbreaks and fears. I kept running , i tried so hard to break free and found myself back to where i used to be , its just like getting stucked in a forest , frantically calling for help but no one would ever come by . Then you felt like giving up , you sat down on your own crying hysterically but nobody gonna be there , you just have to stand up all on your own , get a map and figure your way out , in fact map may not even be provided. Its all on your own bcuz its your life , your choice.

Special dedication to my beloved 姨丈 .

2010-08-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

We all know that someday everyone of us will leave , is just a matter of time.
I've an awesome uncle :
He is capable and worked in a well known car factory .
He was excellence in handling all the engines.
He drives me back to where i called home when im back at malaysia's bus station.
He drives me to wherever we wanna go for shopping when im back at malaysia.
He drives me to wherever that has got good food , duck rice , yong tau foo , roti prata , satays etc.
During new year , my cousin would visit her friends' house , he drove us back and forth .
He drove us to another city at m'sia to visit my aunties for new year & we can get angbaos :)
He's a lil bit impatience , he gets angry when we keep dragging and dilly dallying , he chase us to be faster . We often have to go out early and get back home as early as possible due to the deterioration of his eyesight .
Despite his illness , despite he often rant and gets angry , despite he is tired he always never fail to drove us back and forth to where we wanna go . He loves freedom , he drove around to eat good food on his own , he introduce me to places that has got delicious food when i got back to malaysia.
Thanks to him , i get to eat nice duck rice , satays , porridge , yong tau foo , roti canai ,
Thanks to him i always get to shop around when i went back to malaysia ,
Thanks to him i always get to travel at M'sia w.o difficulties ,
Thanks to him my mum and me could go to many parts of malaysia to pray to different gods and goddesses ,
Thanks to him no matter how late i reach malaysia , i would not have to worry because i would see his white colour Ford outside where i alight ,
Thanks to him i can reach where i call home very fast ,
Thanks to him , for building so much of my memories , my childhood. Though he is the father of my sis ( mother's side cousin ) but when we were young , whatever he bought for my sis he would bought for me too . I remember the badminton racket he bought for me :)

Once in a blue moon , when i was back in malaysia , when is dinnertime he would call " Mei , come eat ah , bagus * thumbs up*" , once in a while he would smile and crack jokes with me , whenever im coming back to SG , he know i've a very precious boster that i bring back , he would say " Faster ah later cant make it " then he would smile to see me still bringing the boster , he made my life in malaysia so much easier , so much better , especially in transport , theres never a problem because we know he's always around. He recovered from cancer last year but August 14 , i received a phone call at 7.36am saying he's gone. Im half awake , i dont know how to react. I rememeber vividly , this yr's new year i was suffering from major headache , at 年初一 he come and fetch me to see doctor willingly which he shouldnt because its not auspicious and mum still felt guilty about this. Now that he's gone , I definitely miss him , I'ld say i've yet to accept this fact , im sad , i cry , i mourn but i know life has to go on . Everyone has to go , someday my time will be up too & i'll leave . Well , he's now enjoying in another world now , rest in peace 姨丈 . Hope my sister can get hold of herself , stay strong and face life ahead positively because i guess thats what 姨丈 wish to see too . I definitely gonna see the difference when i go back malaysia nxt time but i know , he's always around , always in my heart like how my 外婆 does . Somethings i dont mention but somethings i always remember and loves deeply . A post is never enough to write down how much memories he had created for the past 15years plus of my life , theres more &it'll always be stored in my mind/soul/heart .

Thanks for being part of my childhood 姨丈 . 您安息吧.
我一定会很想念您的.

Sometimes when you lost it then you really know what it meant by losing - quoted from
"Aftershock" Hence , people cherish whats infront of you now for you never know when it might disappear , do what you could/wish to do before someday you start regretting not doing enough . Gdnight. :)

Plain loser .

2010-08-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Be it've yet to find the one or not , i cant bring myself not to believe even more on that life is just all about yourself and how you face all the shit you've got yourself into or life've brings you upon. Who cares how fucking sad you're and how much you teared , come on nobody cares nor give a fuck damn. Sometimes we cares too much and make life hard for ourself . Perhaps its better to not care nor have any expectation on anyone AT ALL.

Turn away from all the stupid beliefs , turn away from love , turn away from all that brings me down bcuz everything had left a deep scar within and im having a phobia. Dont patronize me , i aint as strong as i seem to be, is tearing me down into pieces but nobody knows bcuz im putting up a front saying that im strong enuff to withstand it all but im sorry , i aint . I aint a toy too.

ohwell i know i just sucks to the core , plain loser . Throw me away , im just nothing.

Summarised .

2010-08-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Life is a long journey , down e road we'ld see many changes. So , dont be surprise for its not yet e end.

Sometimes we would always comment on how we view on people , for ppl who're good in certain things and is well know for it we'ld always open up a topic and start commenting how good and great this person is. Image is important for every one of us , we often says that others have no rights to judge us but well , actually it isnt how people judge us the main point is , how we present ourself. The way we xpress ourself leaves an impression to others , nobody wants to be judged as someone whom they're not . Theres time we'ld envy over how successful a person is but we also often overlook one question which is , before they achieved what they're having now , how much had they did ? Cant deny everyone of us is different in this world , theres obviously people who're smarter and takes a shorter route before reaching their goal but bear in mind , nothing comes easy. You reap what you sow , the only thing behind a successful person is that he/she must be someone who practices "never gives up " spirit , discipline and most important of all , diligence & hardworking. Theres no free lunch , dont ever think of getting a shortcut or thinking that by sitting down groaning and complaining would get you what you want in fact , it just gets you NO WHERE.

Sacrificed and slept 1hr for my dnt proj on thursday , well we're suppose to make use of cams and make a toy but yeah i failed to get mine working however i told myself , at least this is how far i can go and e best i had done theres no regrets (: Just hate it when i cant get my hands/mind/soul working but at least i still do know what im aiming for , keep telling myself , " keep going , just keep going on & you can do it " - hopefully , i really could.

Im stupid , too stupid to believe in fairytales such as cinderella . I just aint e princess that catches your heart. Take a good look at what i've seen infront of e mirror , what i've seen is just nothing , someone so imperfect. Then, look thru e heart , its crushed , torn and teared.

True/Fake

2010-08-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

Walking down e same street , going familiar places that triggers your thoughts.
Light footsteps , dried leaves that turned brown floating in e air and land on e ground as wind blows . Time flies and in a blink of eye looking back at where we had started and how we used to be & then we all came to realise how much things had changed .

Sometimes it kinda scares me how time flies and got me wondering , how would life be for me after 10years ?
Everyone has a story of their own , has a past that they miss , have beautiful memories that they treasure and all of us craves for rewind because we all misses those good old times when we've no worries , no stress , no FEARS .
Just wanna keep moving on despite e overwhelming fear within , show & prove to me its still worth believing . bring me out of that dark forest because i wanna see how bright e sun could shine again , bring back my smile that i know its what i once used to have & trust me i miss it so much . Changed is what i cant deny , putting up a front , laughing my days away because i got to know brooding so much never helps , seem to be strong but aint really one , theres certain times that i fall too , ever tried going thru what i've been , none ever knows how terrible it is till you experienced it & thats when you learn to know everything rely on yourself . Even when the rain is over it doesnt means the sun will still shine as brightly as ever . &It just so happened to be , i find it hard to trust ever again. No longer brooding over whats not meant to be but still afraid to take out e first step of moving on , lingering on my own , stucked in between.

Everything kept me in suspense as it remains mysterious.
However no matter what it is , we all know someday , everyone of us gonna leave & marks a full-stop to our story and ending to all e chapters . Hence , CHERISH is what we can & living life to e fullest , never give up & keep going .

All by myself

2010-07-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

When remain silent is all you can do ,
when you gets so tired to xplain anymore ,
when you feel like things gonna falls apart & you gonna breakdown anytime sooner ,
when you chose to stop trusting automatically & you couldnt figure out why too ,
when all you can say is " i'll be fine "
when you left yourself to fight with whats ahead ,
when fatigue overwhelmed & suffocating you anytime sooner , tiring you out completely
when you know once you give up , the gap gonna gets bigger & you've to keep chasing & chasing ,
& when all these come by , you just have to hang on.

Im chasing my grades , chasing after my As & is so torturing but i've to do it for myself , my own good.
So much to say and left unspoken. Is just indescribable not what words could xpress , it flows in your mind/blood/soul all on its own & only when " if only " turns real then everything wont get out of hand and will be under control .
This week is flooded with test , i've not studied for chinese but whatever im gonna sleep now. Nights.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T _V W X Y Z .
I miss U .

Passion for life ?

2010-07-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

Every minute seem to be an hour , counting down every seconds.
It makes a huge difference to be in and out of it , just in that 4 sides long rectangle . Just this rectangle made me feel totally upset . To face with the fact of incapability & only could be the one seeing instead of engaging in it , it hurts . Is like thousand of needles prickling your heart , the overwhelming urge but yet you could only hoping and still hoping . Looking at the time as it count down on its own till the very last 38seconds & followed by the whistle i know , it has ended , finally. Disappointment is e only word i can use to describe , brain bombarded with thoughts & questions , my mouth stopped working and refuse to talk then , i starts to indulge in my own world. Despite the fact that theres whistles , noises , players , games going on & strangers yet i remain oblivious to it & my mind starts chatting own its own.

Passion ? Laughs . How long this can follow you ? So what if you love it ? Only the strong ones gets the priority , this is how cruel reality could be. If playing your own passion makes you feel so awful when it ought to be happy then whats e point ? I tried to ignore , i tried to not think about it but im just not those kind who could chuck it all aside , i care , because i love it , i love this game, basketball . But , i've no rights to say it because im not mastering it , is been 2years . I really wanna plays better , really . Sigh. Tonight , will be one of the worse night ever i guess.

Perhaps its true that life is all about owning a cert , a degree , earning big bucks & how to have a good life . Then for girls/boys , getting a good wife/husband , how many babies you wanna have , how to teach your child , which classes to enroll them in , what cca they shld have ,how to let them get As till your hair turns white & they're finally a grown up . By then , you'll smile and see how much life has been changing & how much you miss those old good times when you still can run , do layups , jump up high for rebound , shoot long/short distance , interception of ball etc. Life's just too short . Theres no replay so people , cherish whatever you're having now for you never know when its gonna disappear , do whatever you wanna do before its too late , life is way too unpredictable.

My future is way too vague .

老了。

2010-07-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

i love fireworks (:

渐渐的随着时间一分一秒一小时，嘀嗒嘀嗒的走动，回想到许许多多的回忆，曾经走过而留下来的痕迹，受伤而留下的疤痕,对着这一大叠的回忆我发觉原来大家都变了，太多太多。

过去的一切是多么的不真实，曾经所受过的酸.甜.苦.辣.我都差点忘了是如何熬过来，走到现在，创造了另一个“我”。一幕幕的回忆在这一晚放映使我觉得时间过的有如火箭般快，生命是如此的短暂。不曾后悔过去所做的每一个决定只恨自己为什么没付出更多。一切已成了遗憾，再也无法更改但不能否认，这所谓的“一切”使我长大了许多。

Chose to write chinese letters as i think i can xpress more thru chinese instead . I think through alot of stuff this night , i think through days when im still young , when my grandma was still around followed by first day stepping into singapore , having a house of my own then to my primary school days & secondary school days where my toughest period of life were & especially my family matters till now , this minute , the present ME. Life changed so much that i could hardly accept , think back to primary 6 i guess i never thought i would turn out to be who im today . Or rather , never would expect to have passion in basketball or even plays basketball afterall ,one of the major reasons behind these changes was BASKETBALL which allowed me to know so many awesome & wonderful friends . Life has never been easy though i rant how much it sucks but actually to give it a second thought , life's great & meaningful (:

Even when it is far within reach

2010-07-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

Life's like a marathon. At the start you feel nothing , slowly as time passby you gets tired, you start to pant. At times you stopped and gave up alternatively, there would be times you keep your pace and keep going on till you reached your destination. You'll never know till you tried , try running in a way not thinking of how long you can take it , how tired it is but keep looking ahead , keep going , push yourself even when you're tired slow down your pace but never stop , a step after another and slowly you'll realised , it aint as tired as you think it is afterall . But still , the process when you determined and endure to continue instead of stopping plays the most important part in the whole journey .

人是为了梦想而活，为了目标而拼。勇敢往前走，即使觉得自己离梦想还很远，即使觉得自己不被看好，也一定要坚持！应为，这是你的梦想。如果要选择放弃回头看看，问一问自己，这是否是你的选择？如此长远的路途，已把未来变成现在，你真的就这样放弃吗？
想要飞得更高，就要想办法突破所有困难。-quoted from 丁当

Incapable.

2010-07-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ever tried holding onto something for years , keeping the passion going but as days passby you feel like you're never at the standard where you'ld be appreciated/believed & all you could do is watch instead of play ? Then starting to ask , what exactly do i want to pursue ? Is this what i've been fighting for ?

I questioned myself times after times . Isit that i really dont know or im just escaping from the answer ?
Aint someone who gives up easily but im a human who'ld gets tired too. Sigh.

Best descriptions.

2010-07-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

Nice lyrics though i dont really understands the meaning of e mv. (:

Clear the air , i feel so much more better

2010-07-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

Life continues and i look ahead of whats beyond me. As for the rest that i couldnt control , i let it flows on its own. Contradicts no more , i dont even want to think , i've an answer i dont have to struggle for an answer anymore , just be myself and accept the fact where my heart is. The future remains as a mystery (:

I love to say this ;

Whats meant to be , will be . Whats not , will never or rather has never been there .

Smile because you never knows whats gonna happens tmrw , goodnights world , i stay strong for all those who cares , much loves and appreciated :D

Remains oblivious

2010-07-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

Out of a sudden , i feel like watching live fireworks which i had never did before .
I wants to camp at beachside and watch the sunrises.
I feel like eating sushi & i've been craving for chilli crabs for months .
I wants to go shopping walk all the way down from orchard to somerset , to and forth thou tiring but i love it.
I wants to go kbox , i know the glasses will break there but bear with me i really love singing ~
I feel like eating a cup of $1 ice-cream .

When one never shows , nobody would ever knows. When one is reluctant to show maybe just maybe i mean nothing nor deserve to know whats within. Theres no more fairytale .

Goodnights world , tmrw gonna be hectic day which i dislike (N) .

So what now

2010-07-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

_l_

I FUCKING HATE MIND-GAMES.

If only you could see through me .

2010-07-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

然而将灯关上一片无声黑暗心痛的大声呼喊
我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱
却都害怕爱让人受伤
承认我没那么坚强
不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻
刺猬的坚强全都是假象哭吧

Uncertain

2010-07-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

One step forward two steps back.
Stuck in this dark forest &i wonder when will the sun rises and shines so that i could find my way out.

Would you?

2010-07-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Hate the feeling of standing right in the middle of a dark forest , unsure of which direction to go & afraid of

moving on. Afraid of walking the wrong route , taking the wrong step,

fear of falling into a pool of deep shit a.g.a.i.n.

despite how much your heart tell you " that's the way out"

Hate this feeling of uncertainties . In fact , im scared :(

I wanna see clear blue skies , i wanna see rainbows , i wanna be carefree , i want freedom.

Not showing doesnt mean im feeling nothing , i do .

The upcoming stress and how short this term gonna be , just the start of school , things are getting out of hands and i cant cope. Everyone have 24hrs a day i believe if others could , i can too.I've been procrastinating way too much when i ought to be working doubly/thriple hard. Blame no one but myself , time to take out my discipline in work , i know i can do it , i dont give up that easily, i wont , I NEVER !! Im strong ^^

I hope for a better tmrw every single day , hope to see scar fading as time passby.

What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.

-Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Not meant to be.

2010-06-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Everything hasnt been good for me but i guess is not yet the worst . Having rashes which im not sure if it is ornot , feeling so itchy all over my body , my thigh , foot , hand , neck . Is getting more and worst , so unbearable for this past two days in school. In addition , having a scar on your face , is inevitable that people would ask and i get so sick &tired of repeating myself again & again. The worst , is to be laughed at . Obviously , im not someone for them to bully , sure i would rebutt but those words definitely would affect some part of me though i really tried not to think and ignore. I just feel so weird especially when ppl look at me , in e past my face never gives me a problem , at all but now , sigh. Those feelings could not be describe in words till you experienced it. But well , am glad that many tried to cheer me up , dont worry , im fine oh no or rather , i dont have a choice anw , so yup , i gonna be fine (:

I think imma alien. When too many words left unspoken things starts to get off track. Is so true bcuz i experienced it in anything be it friends or family. Sometimes , i just wanna be simple , speak whatever i like with no barriers in my heart , no mind games , no curiosity , no uncertainties . But i guess ,i've to get used to it. Is not the first time and is always been like this. Cuz im not a princess and this aint a fairytale. I dont wanna be crest-fallen anymore , not gonna make anyone my everything bcuz for all i've made , left me one after another and tore me into pieces . Right now , standing up on my own , i see no policy in believing and once bitten twice shy .

Big girls dont cry.

2010-06-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

Holidays officially come to an end , i would say i did enjoyed alot this holiday though theres not much outing . Step down party was awesome and i really miss those senior citizens , looking back when we first met , all the trainings we had tgt and for some , all the quarrels we had tgt.To know that we gonna part soon ,i realised everything doesnt matters anymore.Sometimes humans are like this , we would only cherish it till we know we gonna lost it or even worst , when we lost it. I learnt to stand strong , i learnt to be a big girl that wipe away my tears and in the middle of night thinking of solutions to get out of that damn ulu pasir ris w.o train and bus nor cab. Till then i know , what friends are for thanks my dear friend for coming down all the way from woodlands to pasir ris then to lakeside and back to cck despite having work next day at 8am in the morning . Thank you so much and much appreciated.

Since young , i knew i've to be independent but the fact is im not , i've always trying to put up a front because i've to if i dont , nobody gonna help me and eventually i learnt. I stop crying , stop feeling disappointed when things let me down because is no longer surprising . Someday be it i've someone with me or not , i'll always remember those silly moments and good times i used to have those are what that lead me to who im today . Mistakes makes me grows. But i guess , i'll still be me , the one that always said by friends for being easily contented, childish and abnormal .Well , im just me . A very good example was what happened 3on3 on saturday , a photo with pornsark is enough to make me happy like shitz , if you were there you'll know + 2cheapo watches makes me feel elated and euphoria overwhelming.

I think this is life isnt it ? Be happy , do what you want , follow your heart most importantly , be yourself. When theres time you're low , think about how great life have been and be optimisitc bcuz eventually be it thunder/storm/lightning will come to an end and sun will shines , things would come to an end is just a matter of time , just enjoy the ride & never gives up. For whatever that happens , theres a reasons behind it and treat it as a learning journey in your life . (:

This is why i think i shld lead a life on my own.

2010-06-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes im not good in words , especially when im not in good mood. I dont know how to explain , im lazy to , i hate to. I can be talkative x1000 but seriously to express myself , i doubt im good in it . I hope my love ones could understands me but well maybe im wrong , nobody gonna be able to figure out my weird thinking , i guess . I thought something could be seen , i thought you would understands , but you dont. I do really want to take a break from everything and go back to malaysia for a few days to relax but if only life allows me to .

If you wanna tell me to leave my team mate fighting for my team &im right there in m'sia , sorry i cant do that. Unless , i've something important if not , i wont. This holiday aint like a holiday , im really busy but thats not the worst , the worst is to someone that lived with me everyday , not understand how my situation was. Im not that kind of person that will explain a whole lot of shit bcuz i know eventually you not gonna understand it , i dont wanna waste my saliva , i dont see the point. I've to admit i dont have the patience , i get frustrated , to understand me well , you've to know deep down what im thinking , i hate it when people just judge by the surface but well , cant blame them bcuz thats how i present myself and yes, how superficial. Im never easy to be understood , only those who really make an effort to , will understand me . &Sometimes , as time passby im so sick of doing something for someone anymore bcuz it turns out negatively , the person is not gonna appreciate anyway , just bullshit.

In life , many things let me down , many things disappoint me , blame no one but myself for not being able to be smart enough to detect every single thing , to be aware ,so once bitten twice shy.Things leave scars which are causes phobia. To make me believe again , to make me give in , to make me trust , you've to give in more than enough , im not gonna expect anybody will do this bcuz i dont even think anyone would do this so this is why i guess when i grow real old , i'll still be alone on my own . Who knows , life is too unpredictable i think , im someone who never stop changing , indecisive and contradicts. Well , no choice thats me (:

alright , off i go www. Hope i've a nice day ahead , i really definitely gonna miss seniors :(
Ytd night , i reminisced , how i met every single friend that places something in my heart and still , every memories remains so vividly in my mind , hopefully i wont have car accident cuz i really wont bear to forget them! (:

You're my best memories.

2010-06-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

Good game today but i guess in everybody's life , in every game we make mistakes , we regret.
Honestly , i really regret , alot in this game , i could have actually chopped that 5 free throws , but i didnt. The day before , wsq was training my free throw at skcc , i really feel that i let her ,myself , my team mates down. But well , many told me , is over , i shallnt brood over it in fact i'll treat it as a lesson learnt and train my free throws.

My kneecap is hurting whenever i walk now tgt with a blue-black on it. Hope it heals asap if not i've to wear a knee guard and i dont really like putting on such things , it makes me feel heavy , ok maybe abit exaggerating haha. Alright , im off to sleep now , im xtremely tired , waking up early tmrw to do homework and tmrw night maybe going rp to watch matches , many outings coming up , hope i can finish my homework asap and im so gonna leave that bloody chinese homework to rot , crazy or what ?! Tell us to copy so many compos althou is already showing mercy as compared to newspaper report but now thinking back i think , no difference. Haha.

If someone wanna be part of your life , they'll make an effort to be in it , if they didnt why bother reserving a space for them ? It dont worth a single shit .

Never quits , never give up , keep going.

2010-06-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

Went back to school training today , it was fine except for e tiring layups , up and down when theres very lil ppl and yay , i trained my right hand again but was scolded by coach when my ball didnt goes into e basket & he goes " peien ! use your left hand you left hander " :/

Went stackers training and totally cannot make it , headache like hell :(
I played damn badly and i hate that sentence that sebas shoot me ! I must prove him wrong , i must !! I wont give up man , never ! Went home after buying food for mummy , i dragged my feet and then finally ate my first decent meal for e whole day . Major headache and i cant sleep , body aching and im losing my voice :(

Anw, not to forget , cmp's chalet was awesome , first in my whole lifetime i laughed till so badly that today for e whole day when i laugh my face very suan. &i never played sucha thrilling game before , sum up , is awesome , thrilling and fun ^^ Alright , im off to bed , best of luck for u19 tmrw !(:

fyi , my face scar has disappear , e dead skin dropped on its own !Hehez. ok , im off to sleep , bff will stalk me , must sleep before 5am & she is awesomely sweet ! Wee , nights world !

Ohyes , my mum is e greatest mum ever on earth . She always gives me e best of what she could and thinks for me . She wont see this but i really love her most , she sweet talk me somemore ! My mum said , no matter how imperfect i look, im e prettiest girl in her eyes bcuz i've been complaining to her how much i dislike how i looks esp when i look very ginna. Hee.

Try reading my mind then.

2010-06-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ever tried being lied so many times that you really determined to stop believing and stop holding on to any hopes ? I did. Bcuz all i gained was one big disappointment and whole bucket of tears . Many said , time heal all wounds but honestly sometimes something could have already been carved like a scar on your occipital cortex or any other cortical lobes of your brain . Leading on a life with one's shadow and recalling special memories when you happened to be at a certain places , this is e worst feeling you could ever get in your life , it hurts but yet you still could wear a smile on bcuz , they were once so beautiful &sweet.

Hidden facial emotion

2010-06-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Though theres such saying " Life is too short to be nothing but happy " yet , just how many could live life with this mission ? Look around , everything around you is changing in fact everyone is, even you, yourself. Bcuz what remains constant in life is , changes .

Because many things are going arnd in this small tiny lil dot , competitive and cruel. Only e strong ones stays at the top . Many times telling myself to play my very best but how many times did i really do it ? I dont think is e utmost yet. Knowing that im weak and soft , trying so hard to be fierce and hard , to be stronger but everything seems to be no avail. How does it feel like to have everything falling at once ? So what if you tried to be optimistic but e fact is , many things are coming their way against you , no matter what is just a matter of time that you gonna face it and most importantly ,how are you gonna conquer it ? When you failed to fight for what you want , the saddest thing is not about losing but you disappoint e one whom you're fighting so hard for , or rather to be more precise , the reasons behind it. If you ever look back e footsteps of your life , look how much life had changed and everything is telling you , you've to be independant , you've to be strong , eventually no matter what , life is all about you ,yourself and how you face everything coming against you . Only e ones that never give up , with strongest determination and endurance would success. But , how many are able to do so ? We're humans ,we aint robot.

Today morning ,on e way to sbc i saw an old uncle walking in a very slow pace with small lil footsteps , one step by another while boarding e bus. Ever imagine yourself turning old ? At e start from learning how to walk/run , anticipating e passion of your life , fighting for that orange ball , sprint with all your might , defence with your heart and soul , assist your team mates , playing one tournament /matches/ friendly after another , going thru so much sweat and trainings with people who come and goes from your life , to someone who turn old and weak that needs xtra care and concern .Going thru e process of your life , this is just how time flies and how short life is. If you're not gonna do your best right now , then when're you gonna do it ? Obviously not till e time when you had already grown old and yellow , even weaker and softer . Sigh , this is life, life with regrets/happiness/glory, parts and parcels , from a stage to another.However , is always easier to be said , than done.

So , cherish your love ones before they goes out of your life and thats when you gonna start regretting for everything that you cld actually had done more .

So now im abandoned and on my own to face with everything , how am i gonna do it ?
How am i gonna find someone better than you when you're already e most wonderful/best to me ?

My regret.

2010-06-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

Alright i stuck at my blog for 2hrs. Not bcuz i've nothing to post but im on e phone with a quite chat-able friend (:
&Thanks lor , im very traumatised now. But i've a very interesting conver with her. HAHA.

Anw , so 2hrs back i uploaded these pics above bcuz i was browsing thru my Pictures Document . This year is really a very fun year ever since e start , esp adventure camp. I miss camp alot , i miss those instructors , all the fun and "high" time we have , all the exciting and challenging high elements , the times i kept trying but to no avail for rock climbing , parts and parcels of it were a learning journey to me and not to mention the thrilling experience to be awake e nxt day with bruises on me , sleeping with friends and many unwanted insects , waking up seeing clique's faces , washing up , 3meals dining tgt . I reallyreally miss those times . If not for a more stable earnings , i would have aimed to be a full-time instructor like seriously.Secondly, i miss outings , if not for my financial problems and recently i've a very cui-looking face plus not feeling well thanks to cramps , i'ld have went out tgt .I ,myself cant believe it , how could i even say "no" to kbox but sigh. I miss sentosa , the sun-tanning feeling , i miss movies , i wanna watch Toy Story 3 3D bcuz i never watch 3D movie before yet , k i know im very sua-gu >:( I want watch karate kid too ^^ Soon , 2nd week gonna come to an end , i guess my planning failed bcuz i've no motivations to do my homework , at all. But no worries , i know when to be serious , i know (:

Time please dont bring me back to that hectic life this fast , please dont .

For now , i just hope my face fastfast recover , please?
&Something funny happen tdy on fb , e world is so small and heheh i've to sleep early a stranger tell me sleeping late would kill stamina :( ! Training tmrw too . I dontknw why i've such crazzie friend waking up at 7am , which is around 1hr more just to go JB for hair-cut and grocerries and the person is...
F.A.Z.C.J.Y. HAHA ! How stupid right , still expect me to believe ! Anw , a haircut to you makes no difference , it'll still be center parting ;D HAHAHAHA.

Ok , i think after transferring songs to my phone im gonna turn in already , shall stop sleeping so late already bcuz i dont wanna my stamina to die , somemore i've been running knooww ! I wanna train harder, run more , for opens &for current milo cup. Although e upcoming match for u17 milo cup will be very tough but i'll , i wanna play my best , win or lose , doesnt matters (:
&today , i kinda miss malaysia , i think im going to dig my time out and go back for a few days , i miss e food there and since i've been neglecting mum recently , so i shall accompany her back bcuz i know she misses her siblings damn badly. Hee im good rightz ^^ Nights world !

Wanna take it back to the day when we first met,

If I could, I’d start all over again…
Our love is My Regret

Perspectives.

2010-06-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

While munching my chocolate , i suddenly felt bored and think of blogging.
Did think of blogging for the past few days but well i think this blog of mine seem to be cursed or what , whenever i start blogging , those emotional words start flowing out so i gave it a miss. But well since im in a good mood now bcuz im havng my all-time-fav choco , so i shall blog about recent stuffs.

I think im very unlucky bcuz i seem to be injured everywhere , blue-black on my right arm , tear duct swollen on my right eye but i guess is healing and at e left side of my face , theres a wound. K , im very curious , xtremely curious , i dont understand how could i , how could i fall with face on e floor and i dont understand at that split seconds maybe im too slow to react or what my hand just didnt stretch out to support . Im starting to wonder if i've e same illness as e girl in the show " One litre of tears " ( catch this show , is nice but prepared a box of tissues ), i hope not if not i think many ppl gonna lost their chatterbox. HAHA.

&my wound really hurts now , i dont want any scar , i think im already very cmi if i've anymore scar i'll be ...speechless , sigh ! :(
im starting to paranoid when people look at me -.-

Friends are like rainbows , they're e sunshine after rain , i've an awesome day today and i noticed , i got to know many awesome friends recently and they're really , AWESOME (:

Falling down meant nothing but the most impt thing is to stand up on your own. Saying "move on" or even chant it like a sutra never helps bcuz what matter most is actions. Many things in life are meant to be hence dont get too stubborn over it . Writing this chunks of words is a super ezy task but doing it is otherwise . Always remember , people comes and goes and only e great ones stay . Tomorrow is too early to be predicted , so why bother ? Just be optimistic . Written with thoughts , to mean it , show it .Then , to show it , do it.

Masks.

2010-06-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things dont always seem to be as simple as you thought it was.

The feeling of smiling even when you're not happy but you know you've to bcuz if not you're gonna affect the ppl around you and is not gonna help anw , so why not be happy yet it is not always this ez. Try typing " haha" w.o a single meaning , for e sake of it , everything seems so empty. Every faces seem so artificial , all the laughters meant nothing but just a scene , a drama to prove and lie for the sake lying , going against own's will to make things better , nicer . Yet , when the night comes , things starts to tore apart , tears start to flow on its own like a losen water tap , a total mental breakdown.

In conclusion , everything rely on one's perspectives . If you ever fall , pick yourself up . Be strong.
Bcuz it is a path you've chosen , theres no way for you to regret now.

ohwell , i didnt expect all these words appear .
K IM JUST JOKING . HAHAHAHAH.
k la these words above are deep thoughts ok , as for izit meant to be a joke anot, happy analysing ! (:

Get it , we're just not meant to be.

2010-06-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Let the negatives turn positive instead , use them as the motivations and break free from all the barriers that's stopping you . Nothing in life comes ez , bcuz if it does then whats e meaning of having it ? You wont feel the "hardcore!" feeling.

First week of holidays are gone , everything turned upside down . When e sun rises im asleep and when e sun sets , it just seems like my day had just started. Every night , the same thing revolves around my mind , no one knows neither will anyone understands this feeling bcuz i couldn't even figure out whats in my mind too .I guess im too hard to be read . I can say , is kinda happening week to me . Have been seeing all e long lost faces , this feeling is great (: &i've also known quite a number of new friend(s) or rather kpo auntie(s) and they're absolutely hilarious and oh of cuz im e main entertainer inside (:

As a new week begins , im starting to plan my schedule , by this week i shall finish ALL my English Holiday Homework and at least finish copying 3Chinese Compos , finish doing all the maths paper or at least 2 . Tuitions gonna start soon , i guess i'll be even more busy , holidays seems mundane to me so well , i dont mind anw in fact i kinda like life with packed schedule bcuz in this way i know , i've spent every single moment of my life in a meaningful way . Isit bcuz im getting old ? Im starting to think things afar , future. Although imma planner , i like to plan ahead and i've always been thinking about my future but this time round , i seem to be thinking even more instead , ohmy and the more i think the more i felt ...indescribable. But at least , i know whats my goal and why & who im doing so much for .

I kept reminding myself not to forget my goal , not to lose focus. Is always hard to keep a balance of everything but at least know what i've been doing and keep everything in control in order to manage it well.

Reflections,

2010-06-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

Today ;

I notice Yishi , Zoey &Huiping are damn stalkers and gossip ladies.
Yishi is damn kpo lor ! HAHA.
Im being questioned by many ppl , why my blog so emo ? Why my facebook status so emo ?
I've got a new blue-black .
We lost to engtat hornets & thrashed by them.
I realise , smelly people plays smelly tricks. They're plain losers.

Im not sad , but not happy too.

I felt like a utter loser . I dont know what im doing in that court , holding that ball. Do i even belong there? Throughout the match , im like a clown in the court .On e way back home , i asked myself what the hell am i doing there , why am i wearing that jersey and training tee , i dont even deserve it. Where is my fighting spirit ? Is this how much i could do ? I know , lose or win doesnt matter , i know at least i done my best but i can do better , right? I kept questioning myself.

觉得自己非常的没有用，烂透了，打什么篮球，根本没资格！

I always reflect , i know im not good , never. But i really dislike the feeling of losing , i really dislike it . Yet , i've been losing , all along. I just feel like scolding myself , " So what if you know you're not good enough , so what if you do reflections , so what if you know all your flaws but are you gonna do something about it ? Will you ?" The answer is , yes i'll but HOW ? But well , at least i had done my best , i really did. Just for tonight and tmrw i'll leave them as memories and start another new day . Im optimistic (:

&bcuz of e feedbacks i've received im trying not to post so emo already ! Im strong okay ;D
I shall enjoy tmrw's 3on3 ! &OH , one more thing , MY STAMINA JUST SUCKS !
But i've been running leh , SERIOUS ! I need more leg muscles , my leg almost cramp today , heng nv if cramp i'll ... omg embarrass ttm.

我很想念一切的一切，多么希望自己可以洒脱一些，毕竟不是第一次了，可是真的很难放下。应为，我真的很爱很爱你。说的用意，做起来可难了。。。

Life is like a bet.

2010-05-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

E fact is everything in this world is not as simple as we think to be.
And all we yearn for after so much ups and downs , seeing so many different scenes in life is just a simple life with e one we love. We strive for that day , e day when our dreams turn real.

But , how much time do we need ? How much effort we need to put in for this ?
Nobody knows. Behind every successful person or rather behind everybody in this world , theres a story .
A story of their very own . It may be a sad, happy , full of regrets etc .
To know that you actually wanted something alotalotalot , even if it cost your life but e fact is , you can never be able to get it anymore , no more bcuz e chances is gone & all you can tell yourself is , at least it is once yours. Life wont be fun and adventurous if you know whats ahead , if everything go as you like hence, theres ups and downs with many surprises, is just like a roller-coaster. You gain something, you lose something.

At e end of e day , your last breathe , you'll smile and notice how ridiculous life could be and heaven seems to be fooling you but what matters most is e process. Learn to cherish and never take things for granted. Take every mistakes as a lesson , pick yourself up from where you fall , never be afraid of falling . Win or lose , at least you did your best .

Years back.

2010-05-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

Looking back , e me those days werent me.
E feeling is different , maybe just maybe is time to bid goodbye .
Bcuz i know i've changed and no longer e one you used to love.

Sometimes humans are just so foolish , we never know how precious certain things were till we lost it. We never reflect till something went wrong . Often , we failed to think wisely and make wise decisions bcuz we follow our heart , which is not always right. I always think " what if " but well , whats e point ? It has already happend. Im not regretting but i just like to think otherwise . When things happen too fast , it is usually not a good sign and we should not make decision impulsively if not , bear with e dire consequences ahead.

地道里表白.

2010-05-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

只有你才能让我变成地球上最快乐的人.
只有你才能让我对着自己在深夜里傻笑
只有你才能让我感到非一般的幸福.
只有你才能让我在睡梦中时带上笑容.
只有你才能给我最浪漫的爱情.
只有你才能让我没一分一秒都在想念着.
只有你才能让我在分离时感到非一般的不舍得与伤心.
只有你才能让我不是我
只有你才能让我随意的表现出自己的行为与表情.
只有你会出现在我脑海里每当我一听到"特别" 和"珍贵"这个字.

最重要的是,我只要你也只有你才能给我特别的感觉,而那就是"爱" . 我不是一个很懂爱的人,但我很肯定是你让我想学着这么去爱 . 一切的一切都应为,是你(:

Lost.

2010-05-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

Isnt it sweet to always have e other half ? (:

To have someone whom you feel great to be with .Every single secs of your life , e person will be in your mind , even when you know you guys will meet agn but yet reluctant to part , knowing there will always be this someone being there for you lending you a shoulder/ear when you need , knowing there will be someone who is always there for you to share your happiness or even create happiness , happy moments with. You'll know you aint alone , you'll know this someone will always be e one supporting you , when you cant sleep he/she will sing lullaby or crack jokes on e phone just to make you sleep , when you cant sleep he/she would bring you out for a big feast thou is midnight but you feel like your day just started and rejuvenated bcuz of his/her presence or when you dont feel like eating out , both of you could shop till you drop at cold storage , fairprice buying all e ingredients needed for your DIY dinner tgt .

The greatest thing is you know he/she will always be there , you know you aint alone , having her/him thru e night with you , having someone to crack jokes with you. Even if is just a dinner , it would be sweet. Even if is just holding hands walking down e street . Every single moment , because you know there would be this someone , who cares. E simplest thing on earth that is enough to create a lifetime promise and happiness , leaving beautiful memories behind. Everyone of us have to wait for this someone , e right one , it'll just appear and you'll then mumble to yourself " yes he/she is e one " , some of us may had already lost this special someone , some are still finding , some are pursuing . Which category do you belong to ?

Always remember , is fated and meant to be , follow your heart . For what is lost , let it go bcuz life is just too unpredictable you wont know what happens next , keep trying , keep moving on and someday when e time is ripe you'll find her/him , e one that you've been seeking for .

Hi my motivation , jerk.

2010-05-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

If only life is as ez as flipping a coin , head or tail let fate decide all.

I decided to stop posting anything out after almost 30mins of editing , perhaps too much of deep thoughts.

In short , life is just too cruel and ugly.
Im sick of e life now but i cant give up for someone who've been putting in so much effort and sacrificing to groom me into someone who have future so how could i bear to give up so easily ? So all i can do is turn dreams to reality become a successful person in e future , how successful ? I've no idea but i've a got an aim (:

I know i aint capable , i sucks in studies i know shit me but who cares ? Who says things will goes on like this forever anw in this world is all about intelligence and adaptation. Stop fearing , is just like placing a bet , make wise judgement and just do it. Beliefs , Miracles , Hard work and then followed by success.

However , i still couldnt figure out why isit that i study like no tmrw and i got a shitty results while my friend who didnt study scored arnd e same as me , fuck . Whatever la , no choice life moves on , maybe i just have to try harder nxt time. Sigh , frankly im still not very happy bout this matter. Ok whatever shit you exams .

So i keep telling myself i can do it . Tmrw will be a better day (:
And i kept telling myself , come on im not that ez to be defeated , am i ? No , im strong (:
Keep going, im strong im strong IM STRONG ! (:

Nights. This post didnt come easy after much contradictions. -.-
&Hi , my loyal reader you know im referring to you , you-know-who-you-are ;)

I believe in fate , let it be.
thou , i really wanted you alot , my precious.

Contradicts as usual.

2010-05-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

Count and sum up all the misses i've for you , is never ending.
Flooding thoughts , mixture of words that brings thorns .
I tried so hard to wake myself up to reality , to fact , that hurts but still , i cant help from falling into those needless thoughts.
Perhaps , this is how devilish love is , haunting me .

How great , how envious , so near yet so far , so real but came to realise it is just a dream .
Just within a secs , all vanished and blend into those small lil air molecules.
So beautifully drawn as a portrait but hidden with many unseen & that's e process . Everything takes time that's why theres such phrase " time is all it matters " I dislike being cruel but don't ever dare me to be one bcuz you'll never know what will come by . That's me .

Far from perfect , never easy to understand yet simple for some . Anw , FYI is just how you see it.
Nights.

Good things are hard to come by , patience is all it needs .
but what if , i only want you ?

Layers of soil.

2010-05-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

A mixture of emotions syrup were poured into a cup that relief half of e sorrow that has been buried for long & lastly enclosed with a lid like a lock . All unspoken , written but remain unknown.

Bye , happy guess but is kinda obvious anw.

Hi , pimples.

2010-05-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

e best

E truth behind was changes are what that remain constant & many things has yet to be defined .

While e rest , had long ago lost its definition. Broke free from all e resistance , soared high up into e sky where freedom lies within and thats when every secs counts bcuz each of them consist , happiness.

Is all about simplicity &im still waiting for life to be potraited out this way.

Late midnight , early morning , a hand minusing away one .

Goodnights , strangers that chance upon this tinyweeny web diary of mine . (:

A unusual yet casual post.

2010-05-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

HIHI.* THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST *
time check now is 5.07am in e morning , k seriously i didnt plan to stay awake till this time i was bz watching zyj's video , surfing net kpo-ing , as usual being a stalker (:

Im bored so i start to take photos of my chocs , given from my friend so credits to her (:
I think my blog is damn dead and boring but whatever , im just keeping it for my rantings , alright i think maybe i shld update about exams ?

So , for e past 1 whole week i can say is HELL TO ME. i guess for e past two days i sleep less than 10hrs , serious. Simply just come home , either stay at home or went down to kfc study with joyceh then home and continue to study till 1 or 2am , sleep for 2hrs wakes at 4am agn. To mention about this , i think is my first time being so damn hardworking , my mum is shock too. Today she told me " girl , if you everyday like that study you dont have As mummy follow your surname " HAHA ! &while im studying my mum just keep looking at me , so pervert right . HAHA and she always just smile/laugh , i didnt knw when i study can make her so happy , so can this be a mothers' day gift for her ? HAHA i still owe her one , though she didnt ask for it . ( She jus came back from m'sia on mothers' day so i didnt have e chance to celebrate w/ her ! )

Im still thinking what shld i treat her eat , any suggestions ? (:
One last E maths paper 2 to go before i really get free-ed , however im abit in hols mood now alr but of cos i still will study for it (:

English paper -neutral (xcept for summary which im damn sure i gonna flunk it )
Chinese paper - GG LA. i think i need to really seriously brush up my chinese already like fuck , my strongest components was comprehension and for this mye paper I LOST 8MARKS THERE. Thats not me !
Amaths / E maths - manageable. thou idk how to do but IM GLAD at least i've those kinda feeling for some que i've confidence im correct , usually instead of feeling this way i would be like stone and forget e process of doing it somehow like just scribbling for e 1hr plus paper -.-'
Chem - neutral ( i study like hell ok i swear )
Physics - GONE CASE. ( i didnt study hard enuff, i know , im honest :D )
Humanities - neutral

I think tts all , im still waiting for my D&T sketch book's marks , for that i dont hope much cuz i didnt really put in my 100% effort for idealisations and ONLY THIS bcuz im lazy in sketching somemore my skill is not there and ya so starting i just have rough ideas and i just sketch and TADA design out then when im given like 1mth to do it , everyweek i just last min touch up or just cant be bothered ( seriously i need do something with this kinda attitude in work which is almost impossible ) *oh my auntie (uncle's wife ) is awake and preparing for work *

So poor thing , nono i dont wanna be like her in e future haha . anw work is never a problem for me haha , ohya so shld i work since june hols is coming . Shld i or shld i not ? I need money sia if not with my shopaholic char , my savings will all be gone DAMN SOON , CONFIRM. &aww , my stomach is growling nowwwzzz -.- im hungry but im not craving for anything except you ? HAHA.

Im kinda indecisive over something now , have been surfing e net for my future . haha im looking forward to it k ! :D Thou path ahead may be tough & heavy but im not going to give in bcuz i know thats what my mum is xperiencing and when e time is ripe , is time for me to xperience what she've been xperiencing (:

Ok , i know is a damn long post , aiya im bored la more like talking to myself lor-.-' zzzz . In addition , i want cut my hair short leh , REAL SHORT , those kind , but "say only" cuz idk which hairstyle suits me and look at my hair , sucha bad condition & curl , forget it manzzzzz . Hair growgrowgrow , grow longer and i can play with you , is boring to always having hair tied or put down , i hate to stick to e same thing , some changes please ? I love my life bcuz is like always changing , i dont mind anw cuz if is always e same thing i'll feel so sick of it like seriously . i hate to have routine thats what i hate about school , i dislike waking in e morning before sunshine , i love to wake arnd 7 or 8 , can see sunrise , i hate darkness and i love to listen to musics and just live in my own world/thoughts/imaginations, weees . So im gng to do that now , idk what time i'll be turning in too haha !

Lastly , im damn worrying for youth cup , sigh. Is not e opponents im afraid of (thou i know i'll be facing D.A.M.N strong ones ) , is my standard, myself.
Whether i can play my best or not , but well Shakespear says " to be or not to be " right ? im not sure if i use it in e right way ornot but well is just a matter of will , when theres a will theres a way , yes i can do it righhht ? :D

ok bye ppl ! I know very long . Cuz im bored so im like talking to myself , jotting down my thoughts only.
byebyebye . damn casual post . sayonara !
i wonder who will finish reading this post man , omg. anw CHECK OUT Sing chew's new song , (Y) !
BYEBYEBYEBYE .

2010-05-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

When life came to a state of high tides we shld always learn how to stand strong & withstand instead of being washed away by e waves.
Perform e best under e worst circumstances , believe in miracles which do happens .

Bcuz if you dont think this way , nthings' gonna work out in anyway w.o positive and nobody gonna help you if you dont help yourself , for your future.

Hang on , just right after today things will be so much lighter however a note to myself , thou i've to play hard at e mean time , i also have to continue to put in effort on work be it for hols or tuition bcuz , O'lvls are not yet over and thats then e main goal im striving for .(:

My mum is e best motivator ever and never fails to try any ways just to lighten my stress in studies by making my favourite snacks / drinks or buy exp tonics drinks like BRANDS. Just how sweet and caring she could be , just like me :D haha !

I need a ear , but there isnt.

2010-05-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

I hesitate for a moment to write this post. However i guess this is my lil space where i can write out my ramblings on daily life & im someone who is straightforward , i dont see e need of hiding about this and that , whats e point right ? So i continued ;

Sometimes theres words said by others can really hurts alot. Theres many question mark in my mind now , although theres this saying " a leopard doesnt changes its spots " however i really wanna say this , a person who may be this way but doesnt means he/she will NEVER change. We're humans , we needs care and concern too. Im imperfect , i've bad temper but that doesnt mean im ALWAYS like this , i do things for reasons . Alright , perhaps theres time im unreasonable,i know im wrong , i apologise . However , i've nver put those in heart and NEVER angry for long , simply just brush it off very soon. I've been putting up a front , trying not to ruin others mood even when im sad , esp when something happens in my family . I really wish to ask those who knows me in e past and compare how much i've changed. Perhaps not alot , but i really had tried . Im not asking for credits , i just hope it is seen/appreciated , just a tiny weeny bit is enough but well.. forget it. I guess , it means alot to me but not to you and you dontknw how much those words meant and could influence every part of me.

Someone is right , i cant expect everyone to understand bcuz im starting to think im seriously hard to be understood , slowly i just cant figure out my own thinkings anymore

I've no idea how to continue this post anymore , i dont wanna get too emotional here but well ,
it hurts , really hurts alot and deep , vividly in my mind for this few days .& i just wish to let you know how i feel.
I wonder , what am i to you ? HA. perhaps just plain shit man.
Anw , im still glad and grateful for life has never forsaken me , i gain some and lose some and i'll always remember what i had gained and who actually cares for me (:

(L) [:

Once upon a time

2010-05-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

Theres this once for e first and e last , always precious and cherished .

Vivid clear phrase of hurtful words.

2010-05-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'll stay strong , but at this point of time , i wish mum is with me . Sigh. )':

Despite i hasnt post for many days but i think theres something i wanna highlight on , today i went to buy drinks and i asked e auntie is e new product she import nice , she said "you must try lor cuz i not you ma i may like but maybe you dont leh ? ownself buy and try la " , i give it a try and e lemon tea is awesome !

Sometimes in life is all about keep trying and failing and trying till you succeed. It hurts to fall but e most impt thing is not giving up and keep trying till you succeed. So now , this has become a motivation note to myself (:

I dont ask for much but perhaps i dont even deserves that small lil bit.

Story of younger times.

2010-05-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

Im here to share a story today.

I've a primary school friend , i've almost forgotten all about her till i heard something about her just now thru my mum. Lets name this primary school friend of mine , X . X was very good in studies , i remember since p1 to p3 she never fails to be e top fews.We always take the same school bus back &forth from schl , we bicker alot but we patched up every easily and always likes to play with each other in schl . We stick to each other , we talks alot on phone and i always ask her about homeworks. Later on, my school rebuilt and moved to punggol . She didnt continue studying e same primary schl and soon , we lost contacts. According to what i know , she went into a kinda good primary schl . She lives in a temple near bendemeer road (im not sure if it is spelled correctly ) , mum often went to this temple where she lives and chit-chat with X's mum. So just today mum randomly went there to pray , she met X's mum and X's mum tears welled up and cried hysterically infront of her , she told my mum X went rebellious to e extend of stealing and was caught .
Thou i've heard that X was very rebellious ever since secondary schools , at that point of time i dont give a damn as well , im not up to where better than her so i ignored and thought it was typical at that period of time .

For now , im no longer as how im used to in e past , drastic changes i can say . (But my temper is still as bad ) . To think of how smart X used to be and never fails to pawn me in studies , i reflected abit thou i ought to be revising now but well , tmrw is compo , what can you revise for compo ? Format ? Some good phrases ? I've done these few perhaps just abit of nervous & pray hard i'll have inspirations for e que paper tmrw. So yeah , i seriously thinks that life is so damn unpredictable. &For all e decisions we made , we've to take FULL responsible for it thus is always impt to make RIGHT decisions IF NOT , you just get ready to pay a heavy price for what you deserved . X's mum called e police , i think she was right (: X is now on curfew i guess , and heard that she was a given 1 last chance , hope that she'll turn over a new leaf bcuz i know she is a very smart girl ! :>

We controls our life and made all e decisions ourself . We shld always hold e responsibility for what we've decide/done be it small or big , heavy or light .

Worlds apart.

2010-05-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

I dont read minds , i suck in that.
&Thats why you got me stuck right here , not knowing which decisions to make due to e same old factors.

I had a tiring day, all thanks to maths for killing my brain cells , felt demoralised and i really wonder , how am i going to pass ?

It is not that i've give up but thats e fact too , is proven. To me , passing Amaths = Miracle .
However , i wont give up , hardwork do pays right ? Im waiting for that day .

Had only A brain yet NOT ONLY A thing to worried/think/bother about. Sigh.
Grant me a wish , i wanna be a smart girl , i wonder how does it feels to have everything on your fingertips and free from problems but i guess it would be kinda mundane ? Oh whatever . Contradicting as usual & is hard to keep a balance of everything.

You werent here when i needed you e most , im wrong.

All in.

2010-05-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

We often lost ourself , our directions bcuz life is too confused for us to make up with a decision.
We often lost ourself bcuz we're stubborn and reluctant to let go .
We often lost ourself bcuz we want this specific stuff too much that we overlooked the consequences.
We often lost ourself bcuz of our impulsiveness
&thats why we always end up making mistake again and again. Having history replaying all over.
Arent you tired ?

However e fact is everyone in this world will hurt you even you yourself sometimes may hurt others unintentionally but look what matters most is , who're you willing to be hurt for ?
Worth it or not , you decide.

Sometimes , is really hard to make e right decisions for e right maybe e one that you arent seeking for , maybe e one that gonna hurts .

Is just like going into a casino and have all your chips in , ALL IN.

Is either a win or a lose. Blessed or Cursed ? You decide your bet and e result lies in destiny .

2010-04-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Just a snip and everthg is gone .

I tried to have patience but look it has been 2years , nothing changes.
Esp i've ppl telling me " hey we see our photos in e past you really very pretty leh " etc stuff . Is hurtful but of cos i do feel happy about such comments but well , is e past.

Im vain , i cares about my looks alot , come on which girl dont ?
Hair is somehow or somewhat everything to a girl isnt it ? K maybe not for all but to be specific it is , to me .
Is been in my mind for days , i can say im kinda sad over it . But , theres nthg i can do .
Im very angry of my mum , uncles and aunt for my uncle saying my hair is very ugly and should be cut , for my aunt abused my trust for her and cut my hair to such state and lastly my mum to listen to their words so easily BUT , i hate myself more to actually let her cut and destroy my own hair. fml.

Sigh. Nothing could be done. I guess i would be fine soon (:

Slow

2010-04-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

I seriously hate this feeling.
fml .

Suppressing for long enough and i guess is time to cry all of them out , perhaps it'll makes me feel better.

For once and for all.

2010-04-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

I smiled tonight in my dreams .
No regrets even if it is gone im glad at least im left with , memories (:

Dont keep me waiting , im not gonna wait anymore , no and sayonara.
Sometimes i say things that i dont mean it neither do i like to say sorry , i'll let actions prove it all .
goodnights world (:

Breakfree.

2010-04-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Theres time we thought otherwise and theres time we mistaken e rights for wrongs.
But ,those arent e worst , e worst thing is to be oblivious from all e changes within myself .
Im glad i've wonderful friends around (:
&i've good adviser to wake me up .

I just need sometime , some space to think it thru and reset everything for good.
Bidding goodbye to you , i dont wanna try anymore , im giving up bcuz everythg is wrong from e start.
I will be alright , i'll be strong , im fine (:
I believe , i can ! Yes , i can ! (: (: (:

ohmygod-.-
how blur can i be , glad that is midnight now , i actually mistaken 3g'10 blog as mine and published my post there -.- . k , just for laughs . Nights (:

I've e greatest mum on earth (:

2010-04-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

For all i had done it isnt because im great , is actually because it was y.o.u.

Succumbed to fatigue &so im turning in now goodnights.
bye physics , i shall work more on you tmrw.

2010-04-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

A picture speaks a thousand words (:

Nights world.

2010-04-21T09:42:00.000-07:00

Ignorant is bliss (:

I looked back and smile at all those memories that have been always been so wonderful &memoriable , i looked back and laughed at those words i've once said as though it is e end of e world esp those tears i had dropped however i've never regret (:

&right infront of me now is a path of mysteries , move on and take up e challenge .

It has always been flying all around but yet to land bcuz i've not find any place that i think i can settle down again.
Is fate that brings us close , im waiting still .

For those that i've let go , im glad and thankful . Nights to mother earth .

Game or not , you decide.

2010-04-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

When you walk thru e toughest you gotta know such thing call " once bitten twice shy " so am i .

Theres once when i was greatly disappointed ,
theres once when i felt hopeless ,
theres once when i was lost by the sudden changes
theres once when i put on a mask and act like im happy but inside my heart is bleeding .
theres is also once that i decided to lock my heart up so as to protect it against injuries again .

I told myself im not gonna believe anymore ,
i curse and swear on how fake promise are , how cheap talks are . I chose not to trust and i turned away from all e choices that was given to me , i thought i'll never fall dumbly anymore like how i used to as it was my 1st .

But looks like soon i'll be throwing all these thoughts away & it'll come to no uses as it has alrdy been healed and seem to be somehow flown to somewhere else instead.

Hi , bye , Hi , bye - Is just like a cycle , get used to it , be strong for it and learn to get over/let go when it is really time to do so . Enjoy e game (: & remember is not e end of e world when e game is over . It signifies that soon theres going to have a more adventurous game coming up .

Nothing shines as bright as your eyes.

2010-04-18T04:54:00.000-07:00

Another weekened passed , another week starts again , times flies .
Not yet prepared for e battle tmrw against alien maths but at least is a must to pass elementary ones.
When theres a will , theres a way . (:
Is not about a day's work but an accumulation of effort that had been put in for that As im striving for.
Just a matter of , t.i.m.e.

I look out of e window , seeing drops of rain falling onto e ground .
My heart starts to flown towards you but you didnt catch it and now im trying to retrieve it to right where it shld be .
However , never once did i managed to take you off from my mind . Numerous amount of questions about you bombed into my mind , but there isnt a single answer for them and soon it becomes a cycle .

Strive towards e goal and get out of the muddy F(s)

2010-04-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

Just in 2weeks time , i'll be sitting in e exam room facing multiple numbers of questions all kinds/sorts just to trick me , test me to see if i know e concept or understands what i've been studying for e past 4mths plus.

I couldnt imagine how izit going to be , in fact im abit worried &afraid of it .
I do sleeps/talks alot in class however compared to e past , i can say is a very big changes . I paid attention , asked questions and do my work bcuz all i want and wish for is not only a pass but with flying colours. However , tests after tests , i see many F(s) as compared to other subjects im more worried of my Amaths paper , how am i going to pass it ? I've no idea but i guess i just going to do my best bcuz at least i tried .

I feel like im flying w.o wings . Im starting to wobble , starting to feel e urgency and seriousness in everythg &
I needs e motivations that i've been lacking lately and now they're back cuz and im so sick of F(s) . I feel like im wasting all e limited resources , sigh. Been physco-ing myself with this - "No , i shldnt give up , dont give up! "
Goodnights .

2010-04-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Follow me at http://t-urnover.livejournal.com instead
as it is more private as compared to blogger (:

i'll be back t blogger only when i feel like (:
Continue t click on my nuffnang ! :D

2010-04-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

Bcuz everyone of us have been neglecting e ppl arnd us or isit me ? But if im e one then what about you , you you and you(s) ? I think i need someone to solve this question for me that i've been pondering about. But i think what someone said was right , i cant expect everyone to understands me in fact i myself dont too , perhaps i expected too much .Ok random, i know haha.

&I dislike e food at swensens ,
i want to eat sukiyaki &i want tt zebra design puma's jacket .

): ): ):

I want many things but im tired of listing it out bcuz seems like even if i list them out they will never comes true.
I felt imma let down and in other way or so im feeling disappointed and upsets for what has been happening recently. You dontknw me , neither do I. Drifted far apart . Sigh.

2010-04-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

So you mean i deserve to xperience all this at e age of 15th ?
Im tired of being strong ,
tired of crying knowing is not gonna help,
tired of wiping my tears away and forcing myself to move on ,
tired of forcing a smile,
tired of escaping e existing problems.

Tired of wearing e happy face mask bcuz im not , at all.

If you were to say that imma burden then what do you think you're to me ? Am i living a life tt a 15year old kid or rather turning 16th yr old teenager shld live ? Xperiencing what i shld ? If you were t see on e surface of everything you wont see e real me . So anw , now at this moment i feel like telling you , YOU are a burden for me INSTEAD. If not for you , i would be enjoying my happy-family life in M'sia , i dont need a father , i really DONT , no point and no difference. I wont be stuck in this room facing e four walls , i could have big houses , big room , no worries on nxt-mth's schl fees . I dont have t worries so much juz bcuz im not e citizen here and i would be stacked with so much stress juz to do better , juz to score well t ensure i can see my futurer here and i can get my PR or SINGAPOREAN citizenship asap so tt i wont've t pay that huge amount of schl fees. These ARE e result of your IRRESPONSIBLE acts , you land me in this state . So you mean i owed you n i deserve this , do i ? I didnt. Step out of my life please or maybe simply juz disappear into thin air however before you do so , please give me some time to thrash every single thing out to you and let you know how much you had let me , mum , this family down & how much you RUINED my life , fucker.

Still , life moves on . After a goodnight sleep tmrw will be a new start to not make my life so tough for myself i juz have t force myself to look on e bright side , no matter what. So now , i juz wanna enter my dreamland , goodnights world . I kept reminding myself t be "happy go lucky " i wish so too . Bye .

at this point of time i felt as if im e only one left in e world , sigh.

2010-04-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

I failed my shuttle run for napfa today , i didnt manage to get all As , neither do i gonna be able t get gold agn for this year , i broke down bcuz i felt so demoralised however after giving it a 2nd thought , i think is better not to care. At least , i tried , i didnt fail compared t those handicapped im counted lucky bcuz at least i can run , i can jump , i can walk (:

Have always been putting high expectations on myself bt e one tt gonna suffer is me , myself .

&tday i think is kinda suay day for me dk whats e problem with tday , nxt was scoldings from coach . Im not feeling guilty nor sad bcuz i know i did listen and paid attentions perhaps im juz not tt flexible enuff to apply on court and i hate it when he makes stupid assumption(s) .

&OH , oral went smoothly today , yipeeyipeeyeahyeah !!

Aches , thanks to napfa 5stations and trngs.
turning in , nights (:

P/S : I've many wonderful friends arnd me ! So , i want to care more for them tooooo , you guys knows who you are :D !

不想失去你,但一开始你根本就不属于我,你可知道我多么渴望抓住你的心.

2010-04-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

Everyone has got 24hrs why some manage to do it and i cant ?

Theres only one reasons which is im not managing well enough , it has always been my biggest problem till now , still. Sometimes i wish i could have more time , more time for my love ones , more time for myself to play , more time for studies but obviously nthg comes perfect. However though i know about how impt i need to study , how behind time im now , how fast exams are coming but i've got no motivation at all , i've no idea whats wrong with me ever since march hols. Can someone be sacarstic to me ? To regain my fighting spirit back , can ? Sigh.

I notice when theres too much things coming down , i used to find my way out in e past but nowadays i chose to escape. Whats this ? Is this me ? I lost myself .

Is this an act out of complacent ? I hate this me when idk whats wrong with myself , f man.

You belong with me .

2010-04-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

Currently back t t-urnover@lj .

Theres direct link from my blog exit too , guys dont stop clicking on my nuffnang ads alright ? Thanks (:

:( :( :(

A song is enough t show how im feeling right now , bye &yeah im getting my phone tmrw , ciaos.

2010-03-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

You never know how much i actually wanted you to be mine ,
how much i actually wanted to be part of you ,
how much i actually wanted to know everything bout you
&lastly , how much i had fall for you , bcuz even i myself couldnt figure it out too.

I do wonder , if i ever come aross your mind .
One after another , i laugh upon observing how things changes in life and how we brush passed one another , we never know who we'll meet tmrw , we nv know who will be our next love &esp never know whats gonna happen nxt secs , mins , hrs , days , weeks , mths , year , time never stops , life continue to b as happening as ever. Take note , theres something that never change and i appreciate e most , memories , those beautiful ones , those that makes you smile to yourself in a silly way at e thought of it (:

2010-03-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

This song is playing over and over in my mind . Idk what im feeling today , just not feeling right. Sigh.

Bcuz i know theres such things that all of us shld get used to . Bye.
&im glad bcuz N97mini gonna be mine just in a week's time after prompting one company after another , going bonkers and even thought of forget about it , &is so finally!.
Small lil things like this is enough to make my day (:

2010-03-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Im bored so i went edit photos. All these photos were taken damn randomly bcuz i was actually trying out e new wax i bought ytd .

Anw , im getting lazier and lazier , shiity shit and a damn no way man , i need some motivations but how? :(
2ndly , im wasting alot of money for e past two days i shall start saving agaaaain .
3rd , im very vexed over getting a new phone bcuz i've problems getting student plan line , fuck.

Done , gym tmrw , great timing bcuz whenever i feel down , i felt so much more better and rejuvenated after exercising (: Alright bye !

2010-03-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Have always been impatient , im one that like to do things fast . I hate to wait , is a dread.

However perhaps is really time for me to learn how to take one step at a time bcuz when i do fast i panic and i start to get lost followed by breakdown .

After a total mental breakdown ytd , cried for hours and finally sought for help , poured out everything & slowly as i cool myself down i think back and noticed i had actually been too harsh on myself , pushing too hard which only produce negative effects.

Mdm ellyna said i always panic whenever idk , true afterall and this apply to everything in my life even when im balling , i always panic and gets nervous very easily and in e end i'll go haywire. SIGH !~
Well , i shldnt give up bcuz this is not going to do anything good to me rigggght ? Get me motivaaateeeed ~ Imma lazzzzzy-bug haha. Alright im turning in alr (:

No matter what SMILEEEEEEE (:
-i kept reminding myself this.

2010-03-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

School gonna start , once again tmrw.

Life's gonna get busier , time for friends will be minus away 3/4 , time for ball will be minus by 2/4 time for studies will be added up by 4/4 . So , in total 24hrs is not gonna be enough for me .

I hate it when i cant think , i hate it when i think very slowly so i've been hating myself ever since sec schl starts bcuz im thinking very slow . Maybe im 15 turning 16 but my body is 60plus . I hate myself . Ppl has always been attacking this part of me , e lousy part of me who is slow and not doing anything good . I dont like , i've never like it but this is me . Trying so hard for everything in life but all i get is shit . SHIT.

Wanted a phone and now i cant sign up for student plan . HAHA joke man . What a interesting life i've . Maybe i shall stop using all e resources on this earth , im wasting them . Someone said is been long since we last chat , someone said im very dao , someone also said i've been in a bad mood lately. Theres only one me , i wish i can be cut into pieces to entertain all these ppl too , but do i even have e time to explain ?

Explain why m i being this way ? Explain all my inner feelings out ? Explain what exactly im feeling towards you you you or you whoever it could be . No. i dont . I dont have e time .&even before i decide to xplain or not , before i've e time or not in e first place is there any ears free to lend me ? I doubt there is. We shld always learn how to differentiate what ought to be the priority in life and what ought to be placed 2nd , i do but im not achieving my goal , im getting further away from it . It is vague , so now i feel like giving up . I do wonder , what if i really choose to give up ? Would i ?

I felt like im being a fool been fooled for this that those these , times and times . Its never ending .

After posting this post , honestly speaking idk what im speaking im just bombing words and feelings . Bye.

A big screwed up.

2010-03-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

(i look old in specs x.x &im trying damn hard to keep my eyes open-.- )

Been homeworking for e whole night and i cant think >:[
TOTALLY lost concentration. Have been sleeping late ytd and had tranining today , look at e weather now who e hell will have e energy to do homework and think well with SUCH cozy/windy/cold weather ? Sigh.

So i decided to forget bout it and going bed right nowww , 5hrs more i've to wake for cip alr then after tt will be chiong homework hours . Running against e time , challenging e impossible , wld it turn possible ?

Nah idk i only know i shldnt stop trying. Thats all tatas.
School is starting and be frank , im not AT ALL excited or looking forward in fact is pile of shit schl had given me , thanks to all e homework which make me feel so pressurized now . Time flies and one week passed just like this . One last thing before i go , i miss camps . I wanna go HIGH !

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G ! ~~~
&so i've been singing this song thru-out training and right now LOL.
bye ! Nights !

Last straw of e day.

2010-03-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yes this gonna be a emo shit post , so yeah .

How worst stuffs can be ? Be it at home or outside.

Im tired , really tired. The family burden is getting heavier , since few years back i learnt many things in life , if you want something you either FIGHT for it or you just forget the thought of it . Some kids are richer so obviously some are poorer and obviously i belong to e 2nd category. I fight for what i want , i wanted a new phone and i used my own my money , yes is ok sure i dont mind i dont blame mum just make it that i aint that lucky to have a good daddy , i accepted my fate. Then , my aunt told me i cld have free specs and lens so yeah im glad bcuz mum couldnt afford and the lens i ought to throw by 2weeks in e end i used for 2mths plus but look now , what happen? Complaining saying is too exp when you guys dontknw what exactly is the brand i want , mum told me to call them up personally bcuz she dontknw. I know i shldnt blame mum , i know she dont understand such stuffs afterall she dont use but just so suddenly and is really pressurizing to knw that i've to do this that and yeah it goes on . My homework is piling and to be honest im in e verge of giving up , i know i shldnt but im tired . Im really tired.

I feel like im trying very hard to live in this family , very hard to make mummy's life easier which I REALLY WANTS TO . i know all i need is to score well , study well , get a good job but i cant see the future is so vague . I keep afraid i couldnt do it , i know i shldnt doubt but things r telling me so , trying so hard in mathematics and studies BUT i still get 3 F9s. Im not satisfied obviously i hate this kinda losing feeling when i did something to fight for something that ought to be better . Okay well maybe i didnt try hard enough SO i will but where shld i start off ? How can i ? I need someone to lead me on.

A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out but at this point of time who walks in then ? HAHA in fact im HAVING MORE PROBLEMS. fuck man seriously. Too many to be said and i dontknw how to say it out , it accumulates and this is how this post come from. Im trying so hard to make EVERYTHING in life smooth , TRYING SO HARD TO TOLERATE all this SHIT but look , what exactly am i trying for ? Isit worth ?

NO. fuck life.
maybe i just need to rant it out , for mummy , i still have to hang on.
Bye.

I wanna be the out-standing one.

2010-03-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

People usually likes to take w.o giving ,ppl tends to forget to put themselves in others shoes to think and understands &lastly we always forget not to take things for granted and everything has a limit.

k , is rather random . Many things is running thru my mind , im not in a good mood i can say , theres many reasons which i dont wanna reveal. I reminisces about things in life , i compared the situations and i see changes. Well , i know i shld be used to it . But the worst damn thing i notice is , life seems to be getting uglier than usuals. Tell me , where has all the beauty in life gone to ? I dont wanna miss it but i've no idea where isit , i need a directory to lead me along.

Has been tolerating way too much maybe is time for me to stand up for myself.
I didnt say doesnt means i dont care . Silence dont always mean consent .
Time for me to learn how to fight back .
I kept telling myself its okay but what m i doing so much for , nothing ?
Sigh , life has never been easy yeah yeah i know . Time to clear all e obstacles and bring me to where i ought to be , where i've been fighting hard for long and where i deserved to be.

Time, every hrs , mins , seconds are precious. Nobody knows whats up next .

Life's like a ladder , you just gotta keep climbing till you reached e top.

2010-03-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Lil did i notice , i hasn't been posting for nearly one week or so .

Anw , so im just back from adventure camp and overall it is fun and 3Gee'O'10 rocks ttm !(:
3cheers for instructors , they are sucha bunch of jokers ! :D
So , played all the high elements like flying fox and rock climbing tgt with some other low elements . It was challenging i can say but well i didnt manage to finish rock climbing in fact i cant go up , felt rather disappointed and tears welled up .But well , at least i tried several times like what instructor said , at least you tried so you didnt fail only when you didnt even attempt to try , you failed. However , i will never forget this experience and never forget those who teased me for not being able to go up, so i made a promise to myself , someday if i've got the chance i will do it , once again . To prove to myself , i can .

&as for flying fox , i felt rather accomplished , i was super xtremely afraid when i was down there seeing ppl coming down and when i went up , the stairs are scary enough please -.- But eventually im not afraid when i was up there as i was thinking , ok stop being afraid no point bcuz no matter what im already up there and i HAVE to jump HAHA but seriously when i look down i felt so _)(*&^%$#@ . To make it worst , when it was my turn , the wind was very big !! I asked the instructors isit ok anot n he said yes then , i jumped. Weee i even shouted "i love basketball !" hehe so fun , i like that flying feeling.

Hmm i even tried some of the low elements n theres one i cant complete , ya my balancing was rather lousy . sigh . but i didnt give up trying is just that we dont have enough time for me to try . sigh. Then campfire and it was xtremely fun haha , i shout to the extent that i lost my voice ):

Then third day , clean toilet -.- but ok la too used to it sibeh suay from what i rmb i clean the toilet for my p5 and p6 camp too . So to sum it up this camp was enjoyable , fun , and great learning experience despite the fact that i've attended it before during p6 but it still rocks and inspired me in alot of ways. ok lets talk about the creepy part , i've blue-black that dont hurts ! &during the night while im sleeping , i can feel ppl touching me , the first time i take down my doraemon towel that covers my eyes , i see nth so i knew and ignored. &after this camp i keep have "those things " around me that kinda feeling ): but im not afraid la , i didnt offend them and anw used to it also -.- cuz ic trip during sec 2 i also experienced this kinda "thing" existence.

After this camp , i feel that guys that know how to dance esp breakdance or guys that knows how to play musical instrument are so cool ! I want ! HEHE. Or maybe "guys" like her ! WAHAHA. okok enough of nonsense . &so sorry for sucha long and wordy post !

2010-03-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

I've always been random , if you know me well you shld know (:

So just now i walk into the room after bathing and suddenly out of randomness, i told mum how i wld want my dream bed-room be . Once after she replied me , my heart sank with disappointment and once again i've "that" feeling , idk how to describe this feeling but just dont feel good .

Sigh.
If i dont blame you , who shld i blame then ? Ya perhaps i shld blame myself for reincarnating at the wrong timing huh ? fuck. forget it , blaming you gains me nth ,hating you only makes my life difficult at home but seriously the sight of you irks me. i dont mind being poor so long as i can see that you're trying your best to support this family but the worst and horrible fact is you , didnt . fuck you & bcuz of your irresponsibility, mum have to work so hard.

Just wanna break free from all the restrictions .

2010-03-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

If i say you're e one , would you believe me ?
& here im trying for our love cuz we've been hiding long enough.
So, If I give you my heart would you just play the part
or tell me its the start of something beautiful ?

2010-03-02T07:40:00.000-08:00

Wont it be good to have someone to hold an umbrella for you during the rainydays ?
But wait , you can do it yourself too theres isnt a need anw.

Sigh . Lessons are still as fun as ever and im like laughing my lungs out today but when it comes to work and assignments , it is really over-loading tgt with the constant reminder from one teacher to another that how near we're from O'lvl despite the fact that we're actually still in Sec 3s .

And come to think bout it i wish my O's ends b4 my bday nxt year , i dont want a a miserable stressed up bday !

A(s) , you're so hard to be reached. And you never knows how much i yearn for you .
In fact it is never enough . The more i've the lesser points i've &the better courses i get to be in.
Is really either now or NEVER. Bcuz is gonna be a lifetime certificate that i gonna hold on to &i dont wish to have any regrets .

&im starting to wonder m i stressing myself too much ? IDK .
i only know i want As. Looks like i've somehow somewhat been hypnotised.

On form.

2010-02-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

Say hello to my adorable doraemon red packet above =D

WOOLALALALA :D

Today is a happy day despite that mum give me a big headache before getting out of house for training but eventually things goes on smoothly . &i like the ppl there be it the coach or players , they're so friendly :D
Starting of e warm up all cui-ed partly because is been kinda long since we last run so much.

I just receive a news from a superduper good friend of mine that she got her licence , yippee yippee .
&oh , im suddenly very into hokkien songs !
HAHA . Though abit retro but i just like it . I always think that old songs are always the best . Im not saying that songs nowadays aint nice but i just like some of the old songs . Afterall , it doesnt mean just bcuz it is old it has to falls under the " old fashion" etc category right ! HAHA. and im so motivated by the song below . NICE HOR ! :P

&OH I KNOW I KNOW , i've stop saying this for long

PEEPO PLEASE DONT STOP CLICKING ON MY NUFFNANG WHEN ADVS POPS OUT , kay ?

Be nice :D

Hey boy , i've been hiding how much i actually cares.

2010-02-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

Imma weirdo. I swear i've the weirdest heart,weirdest thinkings , weirdest FEELING for human beings among billions of ppl, contradicts x1000 .Beware , im abnormal. But im lucky to have friends for me to know i dont have to worry , i dont have to panic , i dont have to be f. up cuz they'll be there.

Anw so i blow my top at my father today and he intend to beat me up , yeah bring it on man , im waiting .
I hate you , getting more and more . You're a total jerk. Im not gonna call you daddy anymore .
Im not gonna give you that tiny weeny of respects you deserve t be anymore , NO MORE. fuck you .
&for me to open my mouth and scold you = gone. Bcuz previously , i couldnt bring myself to . Had enuff of you. Been trying so hard to stay focus and concentrate on studies recently but look , the moment im at home i faces such nonsensical quarrels and YOU , bastard. What a day man . Tell me how m i suppose to do my work under such circumstances ?! Just scram man , i wish my father is dead than having such father . You force me to do this . I've tolerated for long enuff , all you do is making me cry and worried so this time round im not gonna do that ANYMORE.

&yeah you done your part , your part for motivating me to be a successful person in e future . I dont wanna be like you ,sucker. I wanna earn alotalot of money for mama to spend , i want a big house , big wardrobe , big room and manymany more. Kay dreams and thats e future , is too early to be predicted .

For now , i want Ace-s , as many as possible . Thats all.
Sayonara.

2010-02-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

Maybe im too used time with myself , i just enjoyed it when i can take my own sweet time.

I think im a person who tends to get nervous and panic easily.Who like to do things in a fast pace . However today i got to know that this kinda attitude dont work on maths .Stayed back and cleared all my doubts with mdm ellyna . &I really think maths is time-consuming . I spend my whole afternoon and i still cant finish my assignments , sigh.

So long as hardwork is put in , i believe impossible is nothing .
If others could , why cant i ? Yeah i shld believe in myself and shld not be affected with comments given by ppl around me such as slow , not talented to be etc . The more they say , the more i shld prove them wrong .
Nobody is born to be smart , every success is the results of the accumulations in hardwork (:
-Inspired by many great and caring friends around me .

2010-02-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

Right or Wrong , Yes or No .
Just a word will do . Who knows how to distinguish between right and wrong , determine to remove the wrong .

Too many ppl with too many different characters in this world ,
but i believe all start with a kind and pure heart .
I understand that some ppl may be more self-centered compared to others , i myself too .
Im okay with imperfections , it doesnt matter , what matters is how you seek for perfections how you strive for a better , Y.O.U . I've know some ppl for years , i've also know some ppl for months .

Theres some changed for good and vice-versa. Theres some remain who they're and again good/bad.
But i never understands why , why isit that some ppl just NEVER change ?
It isnt that they aint good , they're BUT they can be even better . Why isit that they cant put themselves in others shoes , why they only think about themselves ? hello ,we all are humans , we've feelings , we've limits.
Isnt it ? Who wld say they dont have ? I doubt so yea .

Is all about compromising but in e first place izit worth it ?
&is never easy to talk to them bcuz theres such kind of ppl who're ; hopeless. They just dont seems to change no matter how many times you tried to care and pin-point .
Dont blame me for giving up on you , you bring this upon yourself . &afterall friends just come and goes.
Not all are worth pleasing .

Alright , back to pen and papers . Im dead beat , my eyes are closing but i cant sleep .
Damn the new principal i've to wake up xtra early tmrw . Life has just never been easy , sigh .

So who exactly is fit to solve this puzzle called love ?

2010-02-21T07:21:00.000-08:00

Is saddening to see someone you know changed to become someone you knew and you no longer knows whats on their mind , anymore.

But what can we do ? Life is this way , ppl changes.
They can say a whole pile of promises but they can turn their back at you too , afterall talks are cheap.

Well lets talk bout some other thing ,
went over to my cousin house today , is huge and located at serangoon ,
the environment there was good too , windy (:
My cousins daughter and sons are all so cute and chubby hehe. Have my dinner there and my cousin drove me home . There is still history SEQ test tmrw but my mind is filled with lotsa other things . SIGH.

&im beginning to think that im not one that suit to be in r/s . It just wont work out , i still prefer being with myself , too tired to give in though i know is all about give and take but well it dont applies for all too isnt it ? Is always hard to find that special someone just for you among this billions of ppl , so why not let fate decide itself ? I've encountered too many cheap talks and lies , too tired to entertain such thing anymore , esp changes of heart. ya right , love me - HAHAHAH. Shutup and scram with all your lies man , cuz at time passes you wld see yourself repeating same phrase of words again to another person (:

Today i see a friend breakdown infront of me , a friend that i always rely on ,

a friend that always jokes , a friend that always there for me , a hero of mine just over l.o.v.e .

Seeing her turning into someone im lost in words to console really breaks my heart ,

whats the worst is theres nth i can do . Except for a few words of console , i just wish my idea could work afterall i've never experienced long r/s etc so i cant do anything . Sorry .

It wont stop running.

2010-02-20T11:56:00.000-08:00

For every starting there must be an ending .
I think i dont have to type out the obvious part of what im trying to say here but well , no point crying over spilt
milk .

I think almost my close friends know i hardly or rather dislike gambling , though i do play blackjack , dadi ,mj etc. But well ,i gave it a try today , never try never know isnt it ? &now i understand why stupid ppl like my dad will waste his whole life time on such addictions -.-

Bcuz who dont want free money right ? But they never think of the other consequences which is totally silly.
Heng , i never lost much and didnt really play very big too cuz if not for new year i wont even agree to play . So for today n ytd was somehow a bai nian session , went over to yhy house ytd , stayed overnight ->back home and out again to gerald's house . I swear is flooding like dk what . haha.

I've been eating alot today and ytd , then i notice im getting abit fat but haha ignorant is bliss . Maybe im just abit bloated ? Well , no idea but homeworks is the best slimming pill ever you can see the effect just by 1week hahahaaha ! Esp D&T so , no worries ^^

Alright , nights (:
Im dead beat and i still have to visit my cousin tmrw , gosh A & E maths etc alot of work not done yet .
Booooooo !

I've faced ups and downs &know what doesnt change are changes.
I dont say is not affecting me in fact it does but perhaps just a tiny weeny bit of disappointment bcos im too used to these. Bcos i face myself , upright &i chose to stop walking after your shadow . Sometimes i've to say this , i really hate having things happening at the wrong timing but i know i shld blame myself for these cuz each and everyone of us bcame who we're is the result of our decisions.

Gone with time .

2010-02-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

There i go , flunked another physics paper again .

I shall make this the last paper that i flunk for SURE w.o studying at all .
Anw , im super satisfied with this year's angbaos' $$$ ^^

Till here , bb .

Tmrw will be the crucial match , play like your last . We will /must/can win , i strongly believe this.
Lets do our best alright kangbai ! Dont let our effort go down drain , JIAYOU !
I'll do my best in ANY way too (:

2010-02-17T05:45:00.000-08:00

Thank god for blessing things to go smooth for mum today , heaved a sigh of relief after worrying for the whole day . Told one of my super joker classmates about my past , seriously i dont think im very pathetic in fact i think life is great . Although sometimes i cldnt have things i want or maybe lack of things which i needs alot or worrying this and that etc . But afterall no matter what for the things that i want if mum have money she wld buy for me and whenever im in trouble or worried ,i've caring friends around me whom i know will be there for me , always . (:

Imma happy girl afterall (: !

I looked into the mirror and i gave a thought , m i really who i wanna be ?

I finally found a directory to lead my way , im now who i ought to be.

This time , no more.

Once again , i still believe , trust.